January 10, 2010

Attn B1t@h who stole my iPhone at @DenverMuseumNS #thief #iphone #icurseyou

Is your life really that pathetic that you had to steal my iPhone?  Really?  10 minutes.  That's all it took.  My Annie was being a big girl, using the potty, and I forgot I set it down in all the commotion of trying to potty train her, showing her proper hygiene, washing her hands.  I ran back to the restroom, but you had already been there and stolen it.

While I am teaching my children to grow up with morals, care about other people, and have respect for property, you are out there teaching them a lesson, too.  Shame on you!!!!  What are you going to do with it?  Sell it for a few bucks on ebay?  Well save the money, because I'm sure that some day you'll need it for bail money, you loser!

And I'm putting a mother's curse on you!  That's right, I may not be your mother (and you're lucky I'm not because I would BEAT YOUR ASS for stealing) but I'm putting the curse on you!  You may have caused me a minor irritation of having to replace my phone, but one day you will look back on everything you've done in your life and you'll remember me and that day at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, and you will feel regret.  Yes, it is just a phone, but you will feel bad about your behavior and your lack of morals.  You will be ashamed of your actions, and rightly so.

So go sell the phone on ebay or look through all of my personal information, texts with my husband, whatever it is you feel the need to do because you are pathetic.  Go ahead.  Remember, what comes around goes around.

Oh, and if you do end up with a conscience and decide to do the right thing, drop it off at the Commerce City Police Department, where my husband IS A COP and is tracking the phone anyway!  ;)

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